Stormys Guide to His Perfect Hunt

All,

Well after my post yesterday i thought i would follow it up with the most important thing in my life at the moment, my desire to be wed. I have been wanting to get married for a while now, and i have started to take some serious steps in finding a wife, and i have been looking at venues and dates etc lol! The concept i guess of finding a wife might seem quite alien to a number of you, i mean you dont just find a wife, you find a girl, you fall in love, you live together or at least get engaged and then you marry would be the status quo for many of you, however in my culture, its more like you decide its time to get married you either tell your parents or extended family and friends who will propose people for you to get married and then you meet these potentials and get to know them and if you hit it off, before you know it your surrounded by 500 of your closest friends and family and having random sweets stuffed in your mouth! Im taking that route as its alot quicker, more suited to my custom and less sinful in Islam that the other route i mentioned.

I think the other route is a valid route and might be better in the long run but to be honest theirs no saying in either route, you have unsuccesful marriages in both types of societies, and so i think all you can do is pray to God and try to be good people and hope that it works.

I suppose as I mention you need to be good people, it reminds me of one of my key criterias in finding a girl. I want her to have a good heart and good natured, as i want to respect the girl and inshallah her to be a good influence on my children. I need her to be chilled, which is actually quite an important requirement as i believe its something that i strive to be, and remain calm in all situations and so therefore would want my wife to try to be the same. I know people say opposites attract and i think they do to an extent so it causes the relationship to have a balance but i think its also important the relationship has many similar bonds and characteristics between the two people.

I obviously want someone im attracted to but their lies the problem attraction, when people ask me what I find attractive its hard to say theres no 1 set girl and i suppose when people try setting me up with people they find it hard as i cant give them a type, however inshallah ill find one soon where im attracted to, as so far thats been the biggest stumbling block!

I used to say I dont care about how relgious she is, or i even used to say i dont mind if shes not muslim, but i have started to change my mind on this purely on the fact that because i believe as a Muslim i would have a better chance of reaching heaven then say a non-muslim purely because a non-muslim wouldnt have been praying, paying zakat and stuff but that doesnt mean either of us are guranteed of our destinations and i could easily end up in hell and they could end up in heaven but aneway i digress what i am trying to say is that so if i believe i could enter heaven i would like to think i could enter it with my wife and children and so would always be worried about the outcome of my wife if she wasnt muslim as i would fear that she may end up in hell! lol i know a bit dramatic but i dont know its the way my thinking has been going recently...

aneway this year like i said i plan to marry iA and am taking some serious steps to it, and once i find someone who fits me and i see a future with, then i have this book that i brought in the usa like a q+a book that i will inshallah go thru with the prospective person and find out if we are truly compatible, the scariest thing i think for me is my past and the vices i have if the person accepts them, thats the thin g and i guess its the same the other way around but i dont care to be honest on most things and so hope that i can find someone with an equally flippant attitude!

The final thing im considering is the potential future, so i need to find someone who i think will make a good family with and be a good mother and share the same ideals and hopes i do, so for example ideally i want 6 children, 3 of my own and 3 adopted inshallah, i would also if i cant get 6 children like to do fostering, so things like that i would want my wife to be intrested in. Also i want to go and study Arabic at some point in the near future in an intensive way, where i live in a proper arabic and islamic enviorment, where i can also study Islam into much greater detail and i would like a wife who has that same passion, like i said she wouldnt need to be relgious but just have that desire to expand on her belief.

Anyway i best go take care

Stormy