Can you be selfish and selfless at the same time?

Sometimes life with throw up opportunities or rather situations at you where you have to make a decision where you think the solution that is the best for you and sometimes what’s the best solution for someone else. The next paragraph doesn’t make sense as I cant go into it but im trying to process the thoughts in my head and so just writing down for myself.



Well I had such a situation where I really wanted to act in such a way but I know only I would profit, and I acted in such a way however it opened a can of worms and then I was forced to make a series of selfless choices however they have come across as selfless and I just messed a hell of a lot of things up! I’m still involved in the situation and so I’m not able to review in hindsight which is slightly unfortunate as I could really do with being at the end of my current predicament.



I don’t understand how life can be so balanced, I mean the pains and aches of love, and yet those bad feelings are compensated by the feelings of love and hope, and I speak to people and the number of people who understand what I am going through astounds me. Its like everyone has this feeling of equilibrium that exists in life, where you feel good in one aspect of ur time or time in ur life u felt crap in an equal measure on the other. Well now im feeling the negative side, and no matter what I do I cant get out of it, I try to do good actions for others hoping that somehow I would get like ‘karma’ back or ‘reward’ but I end up messing things up.



People are telling me u know its good that ur single and I was like yeh its awesome when I first became single, but then the freedom dies and you want that love and compassion that u used to have and you realize single life sucks so bad and the people who say that are either in shitty relationships or jus manwhores or whores because they enjoy the promiscuity of being single. However those that are in loving and caring relationships will tell you otherwise and that’s what I want.



For some people relationships, love etc are all overspoken and over-priortised but I don’t understand those people, because for me it’s the most important thing, human interaction after spiritual interaction is the most important thing in this life, and that’s why to love is the most important feeling, the love you have your neighbour, friend, brother, wife, is a feeling that cannot be surpassed, im trying to ground myself as some days im super happy and some days im super sad but inshallah in time the my mood at least on the negative side will simmer!



Aneway I know this has just been a random rant and very incoherent but it was important for me to write it.



Thanks



Asif